Your mate’s new business is absolutely not a pyramid scheme and you absolutely don’t want to punch them in the face

We all have at least one enthusiastic friend who is lovingly forcing their new business down our throats. And what a joy it is to see our pals flourish as they fork out £700 to set up said business and spend 18 months working towards a profit via constant social media posts and numerous direct messages that are in no way pushy or coercing you into buying something/joining them.

What is so sweet about the whole thing is that you, as a mate, are in no way dragged into it. You don’t turn up to the pub for a Peroni, catch up and pack of salt and vinegar Kettle Chips to be greeted by a sales pitch. Of course not. Thank god your witty, fun loving friend has not replaced their personality with talk of a white Audi TT. And you were over the moon to forfeit buying that gorgeous And Other Stories midi that made your waist look delish in favour of starting a £39.99 monthly direct debit. Who wouldn’t want a substantial supply of pink lemonade flavoured weight loss gels and bubble tea anti ageing cream?

Many of us are all to familiar with the online presence of someone knee deep in a pyramid scheme. Not that we know anyone who is… But I suppose if we did we’d be on social media scrolling through an ever increasing volume of uplifting posts about ‘manifestation’ and ‘positive vibes’. The great thing about an inspirational quote is that it doesn’t make the person who posted it instantly slappable. The sight of a ‘Courage does not always roar’ or a ‘What if you fall? Oh, but what if you fly?’ doesn’t induce a violent reaction and feelings of uncontrollable aggression. Which is good. Because that would be wrong. Wouldn’t it?


Anyway, really the message is, of course your friend’s business is not a pyramid scheme and I’m sure you’ll be friends forever.

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